Ms. Albert
Labels: Blake, feminism, marriage, Shannon 6 commentsI'm an unapologetic feminist. Not the kind that hates men but the kind that thinks women should have equal treatment as men. When we got married, I didn't want to be introduced as "Mr. and Mrs. Andrew Albert" but instead we were introduced as "Andy and Shannon Albert." I wasn't trying to make a statement; I just wanted to retain my own first name (at least!) and not be identified by my husband. I also took a year to get used to having a new name. In fact, my legal name is Shannon Rae Barnes Albert. I feel like getting married added on to who I already am vs. changing myself to be identified by my husband.
It is surprising, then, that I never questioned my salutation changing due to being married - especially since men don't change theirs. I'm about 30 years behind on this topic but it makes so much more sense to just call all women Ms. rather than changing from Miss to Mrs. due to marriage. Why do we identify women according to this anyway? It makes no sense. I will address Christmas cards to other women without the Miss or Mrs. from now on and would request that letters written to me do the same.
Hat tip to Blake for asking me about this. Same boy who asked me "can men be doctors or just women?" If male Republican feminists exist (surely they do), he's well on is way to joining them.
1:43 PM
A family friend of ours married a Japanese girl in Japan (and now lives over there) and took her families last name instead of her taking his last name. I had never heard of that before, but apparantly it is an old tradition.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/N%C3%A9e
7:34 AM
I feel exactly the same way -- I kept my name when I got married (my husband was a little uncomfortable with it but he knows how important it is to me, so he understood). The in-laws still send me cards addressed to Mrs. Kristen Notmylastname but aside from that, I haven't had a bit of trouble with introducing myself as Ms. X. I think it's becoming more common professionally to always address women as 'Ms.' unless they request otherwise. That's how I was taught when I was younger and worked in telephone customer service--always use 'Mr.' and 'Ms.'
Good for you!
9:53 PM
Why am I 34 years old and have never thought of this? The Ms vs Miss vs Mrs is fascinating after a little consideration. I'm guessing it was long ago (and likely still encouraged) man's way of keeping us identified as taken or available.
Thanks, Blake!
9:55 PM
PS. I am Casey Clemens Starnes. I chose to move my maiden to my middle b/c I felt it identified me as well. Emily Post says we should drop our birth given middle name upon marrying if it has no meaning; keep it if it's family. Mine is family and I dropped it anyway. Such a rebel!
9:56 PM
When you said "Thanks, Blake!" I thought you meant your husband and in a sarcastic tone. Ha. Then I remembered that I referenced MY Blake in the post and I got it. :)
9:57 PM
Ms. Case, I didn't know that was your legal name. Awesome. I didn't know anybody else did that but it was what felt comfortable for me at the time. Glad there's more of us out there!